EX - AXE!!!

OK. Like with my previous post, I already admitted I'm seloso, as in super seloso...

So what a way to spoil my day, and my life for that matter, is knowing that my partner's ex of 3 years is still in communication with him...

I know all those blah blah na "past is past", "he already moved on" and that "they are just friends".. these words don't calm me... honestly...

So when I learned that my partner will be in one place with his ex, for an overnight stay, without my presence, really push me to my limits of being jealous... :( even if there are some friends with them... but still... :((

I cant recall how many times we "separated" before this one, but certainly, this time around, I know I have the right to be jealous....

Who wouldn't be? Picture this, Your partner and his ex, knowing that he's his greatest love to date, will have all the time in the world to talk and be together... God... those hours seemed an eternity to me... I didn't get to sleep at all... :(

The saddest part is, he knows I'm jealous of the EX, but still he pushes through...and then off we go...

... and on again in a couple of days... (to be continued)

PARANOIA

Hay, so after I learned about it, I immediately broke off with him...

Knowing me as a soft-hearted person, and honestly, I already have feelings for him, only after a few hours, we came back to each others arms... :)

But my being jealous was replaced with being suspicious... susme... mas mahirap pala... :(

And I continue to struggle everyday trying to fight off any bad idea that is coming to my mind that alleviates my being "TOPAK-in"...

And everytime I was about to give up, or when my paranoia sets in, there's only one thing that kept me going...

I know in the deepest of my heart, I knew I already LOVED HIM...

SELOSO

I am currently in a relationship. And I can say I'm Seloso, or make that sobrang ubod ng seloso...

And more often than not, eto yung cause ng TOPAK ko... thus, I'm creating this blog to share to everyone EXACTLY where this TOPAK came from...actually kahet wala nga makabasa nito ok lang... :)

I love this new guy, 4 months na kami. Pero our relationship started off in the wrong foot..

We met in a gay dating site, exchange pictures, then numbers... then the unending texts and calls came in next...

We met and initially, he's the one who wanted a relationship. I thought I was not ready.

In other words, we became partners..since we agreed to become partners, I asked him if we could remove our profiles from the gay dating site where we met. And so we did...

Its just that I was not specific, I said just remove it from the site where we met, but not in OTHER gay dating sites, which I found out that he also have other accounts...

And then my TOPAK steps in... :( (to be continued)

Topak!

First blood, ika nga...

Why Topak? Let's just say I met this one person, fell in love, and he called me Topak.

For some reason, I felt like it was a nice tag: TOPAK.

For  some, it means "sira ulo" or "baliw". For me its just a sudden change in state of mind, mood and emotions... TOPAK!

This blog will definitely explore and reveal all my inhibitions about sex, love and life...